 | Date Posted: 5/11/2009
Posted By: Ben Warren
Member Since: 3/18/2008
Number of Replies: 9
Last Post: 5/11/2009 |
| | Want to share how everyone who doesn't blame themselves sucks. | Awhile ago I was flipping through the stations on the radio and came across Laura Schlessinger. If you've never heard of her, she's basically an advice columnist in radio format, taking calls from people experiencing problems or hardships.
I listened as a female caller explained that her spouse had cheated on her, and Dr. Laura asked a really jarring question: what had the woman done to make the husband be unfaithful? I mean, the woman's husband had cheated on her... and the host was asking what the woman did wrong? Did I hear that right?!
Less than a minute later, a male called in - ironically, someone that had cheated on his wife. I grimly expected Dr. Laura to question, again, what the woman did wrong. Instead, she focused on the faults and mistakes of the man.
I turned the radio off, trying to reconcile what just happened. How could she "blame" the woman, and then a minute later and in the same situation, "blame" the man? It took a bit, but I finally figured out what was going on. It was an issue of Locus of Control.
Ultimately, there are two things that affect the happenings of a person's life: their choices and, well, everything else. Psychologists refer to this as Locus of Control. Focusing on the internal and controllable forces on your life is having an Internal Locus of Control; focusing on the things that "aren't your fault" is having an External Locus of Control.
What about that first woman, looking at things with an External Locus of Control? It's the husband's fault! He cheated, and nothing excuses that... but... now what? If she doesn't have any culpability at all - if there's no choice she made along the way that was a misstep - then what power does she have to prevent it from happening again?
Instead, things were looked at from an Internal Locus of Control. What aspects of the situation did the woman have under her control that she could change? What things could she do differently to make sure it never happened again. External Locus, she's powerless. Internal Locus, she's in charge.
So... what on earth does this have to with Magic?
Everything.
I finally figured out today why I'm better at Magic than my friends at the coffeeshop. Up until today, I just figured it was because I'm better at fundamentals and at tactical play. Nope.
After my friends lose during Thursday Night Limited, they typically say something like:
"I just couldn't topdeck my removal."
"I got land flooded."
"You just got off to too quick of a start."
"My sealed pool sucked."
"Man, you were drafting the right colors tonight."
Notice the common denominator? The first two revolve around their deck being unlucky. One involves the luck of what packs they opened for their sealed pool. And two don't even involve them at all, but focus on what their opponent did.
What are some typical things that come out of my mouth after I lose?
"Man, I really misplayed that one."
"Yeah, I spent that Resounding Thunder way too easily."
"I wish I hadn't blown the math on that combat phase."
"I should've known you were holding the Agony Warp."
Common denominator here? All four are about how I screwed up.
Still, until tonight, I'd never really picked up on what was going on. So what finally clued me in on the difference?
I had a really weird urge after the final round. I had just finished playing my friend, winning 2-0, and they looked pretty disappointed with the match. The instinct I had was to offer to trade decks, aiming to show that their deck was actually pretty good.
I bit my tongue because, well, the message is kind of nasty. "Cheer up, sport. It's not your deck's fault that you lost. It's because I'm just better than you." Not exactly upbeat.
So... I suppose the moral of the story is to tell you what I didn't have the heart to tell my friend.
It's your fault.
Yep, you reading this. It's your fault you lose. Don't bother blaming manascrew, your opponent's lucky topdeck, how your sealed pool was a mess, or how you just couldn't find that color you needed to play your spells.
It's your fault.
Sure, you can focus on the things you can't control - whether the top handful of cards in your library is a land pocket, whether your opponent is playing three insane bombs in their limited pool, or how they have a card that completely wrecks your entire strategy. But, really, what does that accomplish? You don't learn anything, you don't change anything, you don't take any responsibility for losing - and you just hope that it doesn't happen again.
Nope. You want to get better, it's your fault. You didn't shuffle properly. You should've pile shuffled between the games, but got lazy. You should've mulliganed your questionable 4-land hand. You figured it'd work out, but you ended drawing three lands in the first four cards. You spent your burn spell on a 2/2 that was a bit annoying but really wasn't threatening the game. And a planeswalker comes out the turn afterwards that you suddenly have no way of answering.
That's the big difference between me and my friends at the shop. They lose games due to luck. I lose games due to my mistakes. And because of it, I lose a lot less often.
Pwn'd. |
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| Date Posted: 5/11/2009
Posted By: Ben Warren
Member Since: 3/18/2008
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| I do not take credit for this. It was on essentialmagic.com
heres the link:
http://essentialmagic.com/em2/Doc.aspx?hdocid=226&hdocpage=1
Pwn'd. |
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| No doubt about it! Many times we lose in Magic because we make mistakes. I, for one, am quick to blame "bad luck" for some of my losses. I am one of the unluckiest Magic players around. People need to scrutinize their own play without bias in order to understand where they went wrong. I've lost many games because I didn't read the board correctly, didn't mulligan when I should have, played the wrong spell, or even overlooked some insanely obvious combat trick. On the other hand, sometimes you do everything right and things just don't go your way. Sometimes the other guy DOES topdeck the only answer in his deck that keeps him from losing the game. Sometimes you shuffle the HELL out of your deck and still draw 5 lands in a row. Sometimes your sealed pool really sucks, you build the best possible 40 card stack you can make of it, and it's not enough. Moral being: Be really damn sure you did nothing wrong before blaming external forces!
"I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody." Barack Obama |
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| Date Posted: 5/11/2009
Posted By: Ben Warren
Member Since: 3/18/2008
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| Well put. I think almost everyone at the Hobby Horse needs to start doing this.....lol
Pwn'd. |
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| Date Posted: 5/11/2009
Posted By: Ben Warren
Member Since: 3/18/2008
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| Whats even worse than going back and realizing that you made a mistake is actually realizing that you made a mistake as soon as you made it! Now that sucks.....
Pwn'd. |
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 | Date Posted: 5/11/2009
Posted By: Penny Dude
Member Since: 5/1/2008
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| Josh, the next time we cube it up, you need to sit in a different chair. I sat in the same chair you did after you got horribly mana screwed, and I got horribly screwed!!!! So, don't blame yourself or Jeremy, blame that chair!!! lol! |
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| Date Posted: 5/11/2009
Posted By: Ben Warren
Member Since: 3/18/2008
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| And one more thing. We all need to start realizing mistakes that we are making even though we win. Most people will be so happy about their win that they don't think twice about it, thinking that they played perfectly, when in all honesty, almost nobody plays perfectly. I make so many mistakes every single game I play, it sometimes gets too hard to count. Things as simple as Pathing so that they don't get the land advantage immediately, or holding on to that Volcanic Fallout just a little bit longer are common examples. I will say that sometimes, but only rarely, do you play perfectly and still lose. This is a very rare occurrence, and if you believe that you are playing perfectly all the time, you should stop playing Magic, because not even the great LSV plays perfectly. That being said, it's always a good thing to question whatever you do, whether it laying a land, or playing a spell, or blocking or not blocking.
Pwn'd. |
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| Date Posted: 5/11/2009
Posted By: Ben Warren
Member Since: 3/18/2008
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| I would like to share a little strategy with you about the last tournament I played in. I was in the finals and it was the first game of the match. I was at 19, my opponent was at 12, I had a Bloodbraid Elf, a Kitchen Finks, a Kitchen Finks with a -1/-1 counter on it, and an Anathamancer. He had a Doran, a Birds of Paradise, a Putrid Leech, a Wilt-Leaf Liege, and I believe some other newly played critter. I was in topdeck mode and pretty much had no chance of survival without help from my topdecking skills(lol). He attacked with everyone. I thought about it for a minute, realized that even if I do block, all my creatures will go away, and I'll lose the next turn. So instead of blocking, I didn't block with anyone and took my chances on drawing the super awesome Cryptic Command that would win me the game. I didn't draw the Cryptic Command, but if I had I would have won the game by swinging freely, him taking some damage, and his next turn tapping his creatures and counter/drawing. I was in bad situation no matter what, so I decided that since I wasn't taking lethal, I should go for the win. Well, that didn't turn out as planned and I lost. But what other players might not have seen was that I had the chance to win, I just had to draw the right card, and not block with any of my creatures to have a chance. A different player might have blocked so that they could stay at a greater life total, making them feel as though they were in better shape than what they actually were. If I had blocked, I literally would have conceded the game right then and there, because without my creatures, I had no way of winning. There is a reason for doing everything in Magic. You just have to find which action is best for the right reasons. Magic is no joke. They don't call it a strategy game for no reason.
Pwn'd. |
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| Date Posted: 5/11/2009
Posted By: Ben Warren
Member Since: 3/18/2008
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| In hindsite, I should've blocked with my Kitchen Finks that didn't have a counter, and that was a mistake on my part, as I could've been at ten life after his attack and still had four blockers to survive another beating had I not drawn super awesome cards. After all, it didn't affect anything but one more top-deck, and that top deck wouldn't have done anything since I don't have Wraths. He would've attacked for lethal within the coming turns anyways. This is just an example of how strategy comes into play. Sometimes relying on a top-deck is what you have to do, but you shouldn't blame a lack of top-decking on why you lost. I keep playing that game over and over in my head trying to decide what mistakes I may have made.
Pwn'd. |
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 | Date Posted: 5/11/2009
Posted By: Paul King
Member Since: 4/12/2008
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| Starcity had an article on "your fault" today also.
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