 | Date Posted: 7/1/2009
Posted By: Travis Peifer
Joined before August '08
Number of Replies: 4
Last Post: 7/2/2009 |
| | Billy Mays Jokes | Michael Jackson realized he was going to have to face Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. So having little to no options,he decided to hit Mays in the head and get the best salesman he could for the job.
So it seems famous pitchmen Billy Mays died from instant heart failure. But just to be sure, police are searching his home and neighborhood for wadded-up shamwows and blood-stained slap-chops.
Billy Mays once sold a semi full of bibles to Richard Dawkins. (my little joke)
Celebrities normally die in three's, but Billy Mays threw his death in for free.
Mays, 50, was found unresponsive by his wife inside his Tampa, Fla., home at 7:45 a.m. on Sunday, according to the Tampa Police Department. Becasue of this, the 24 hour news channels will run nothing but Billy Mays infomercials during Michael Jackson tributes.
Not only did Billy Mays sell ice to the Eskimos, he also sold them the extended warranty.
When Billy Mays asks a clerk to break a $20 bill, he gets two $50s back.
A Nigerian scammer once emailed Billy Mays. He is now on his 400th package of Mighty Putty.
Chuck Norris once tried to roundhouse kick Billy Mays. Before his foot even left the ground, Chuck was already on his first of three easy payments of $29.95.
Hampton: "Can you read, my son?" Bubbles: "Well, that depends, can you go fuck yourself?" |
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 | Date Posted: 7/1/2009
Posted By: Zack Strait
Member Since: 4/9/2008
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| Billy Mays once met Stephen hawking for dinner. He sold him 3 treadmills.
"The shit look like ya hand when you be doin a shadow puppet for a duck n shit nahmean. Shit be lookin like it jus caught a pop fly in center field n whatever whatever nahmean." re: Ghostface Killa on lil' kim's vagina. |
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| Date Posted: 7/1/2009
Posted By: Zack Strait
Member Since: 4/9/2008
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| Billy Mays sold Capitalism to Cuba.
"The shit look like ya hand when you be doin a shadow puppet for a duck n shit nahmean. Shit be lookin like it jus caught a pop fly in center field n whatever whatever nahmean." re: Ghostface Killa on lil' kim's vagina. |
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| Date Posted: 7/2/2009
Posted By: Zack Strait
Member Since: 4/9/2008
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| Billy Mays could sell bibles to athiests.
Billy Mays could sell homosexual tolerance to church activists.
Billy Mays could sell Christopher Reeves a horse.
"The shit look like ya hand when you be doin a shadow puppet for a duck n shit nahmean. Shit be lookin like it jus caught a pop fly in center field n whatever whatever nahmean." re: Ghostface Killa on lil' kim's vagina. |
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| Date Posted: 7/2/2009
Posted By: Zack Strait
Member Since: 4/9/2008
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| On all keyboards after 8/1/09 will have a "Billy Mays" key as opposed to a Caps Lock key.
"The shit look like ya hand when you be doin a shadow puppet for a duck n shit nahmean. Shit be lookin like it jus caught a pop fly in center field n whatever whatever nahmean." re: Ghostface Killa on lil' kim's vagina. |
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